The lights are off and the day is, in theory, over. Your body is tired. Your mind has just remembered the email you did not send, the conversation you want to replay, and the three things on tomorrow's list that cannot possibly all fit.
If that is familiar, you are in good company, and it is worth knowing why it happens. The NHS notes that stress and anxiety can make the body feel more alert, and that worries can fill the mind at night. The mind is not malfunctioning. It has simply been given a quiet moment, and it is using it to sort the day.
This week brings National Stress Awareness Day on Wednesday 4 November, and fireworks are likely to be going off in the evenings around Bonfire Night, so it is a practical moment to build an evening that gives sleep a better chance. What follows is a routine in three parts. It is built on the NHS advice on sleep and on the ideas behind Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT.
Why a routine helps
The NHS suggests keeping to a steady pattern, going to bed and getting up at around the same time each day, and giving yourself time to relax before bed. A routine does a quiet job: it tells your mind that the working day has ended, so that it does not have to work that out for itself at midnight.
The aim is better quality sleep, not a perfect night. A routine improves the odds. It does not control the outcome, and treating it as something you must get right can add a fresh layer of pressure, which is the opposite of the point.
Part one: close the day
Set aside five minutes, ideally an hour or so before bed, and get the day out of your head and on to paper. Write down what is still open, and next to each item write the smallest next step. You are not solving anything. You are showing your mind that the loose ends are somewhere safe, so that it can stop holding them.
Then write one line about what mattered today, however small. This is the ACT part: it gives the evening a direction beyond getting through the to-do list, and it reminds you what the effort was for.
Part two: wind down the body
This is where the NHS advice is most concrete. It recommends avoiding alcohol, tea and coffee for at least six hours before bed, and suggests a warm milky drink or herbal tea instead. It advises avoiding exercise in the four hours before bed and putting your phone away before you get into bed. It also suggests making your bedroom comfortable.
Alongside those, choose something that tells your body the evening is slowing down: a bath or shower, a few pages of a book, music, stretching, slow breathing. The activity matters less than doing the same kind of thing most nights, so that it becomes a cue. Fireworks and neighbours' noise are outside your control on Bonfire Night. A familiar routine is not.
Part three: meet the night-time mind
You can do all of the above and still find your mind busy when you lie down. This is where most advice stops, and where ACT has something useful to add.
When a worry turns up, the instinct is to argue with it, answer it or push it away. That usually keeps it going, because you are now awake and working on a problem. ACT suggests a different move. Notice the thought and label it: I am having the thought that I have not done enough. Make room for the feeling that comes with it, without trying to remove it. Then bring your attention back to something steady, such as the feeling of your breath or the weight of the duvet, and let the thought sit in the background as you would a radio in another room.
You are not trying to make the thought leave, and you are not trying to force sleep. Sleep cannot be forced, and effort tends to make the body more alert. The skill is to stop wrestling, and to let rest be possible rather than required.
Putting it together
Pick one part and try it for a week, rather than all three at once. The NHS advice on small, achievable goals applies here too. If you have time, try the first part on its own: five minutes of writing before the evening begins is a small change that is easy to keep up. Some nights will go better than others. Treat each night as a fresh start rather than a score.
When to look further
If changing your sleep habits does not help, or you think you may have insomnia, the NHS advises speaking to a GP. A GP can also look at anything else that may be affecting your sleep.
If sleep has become a struggle in its own right, our Sleep Restoration Programme may help. It is a four-session programme based on ACT for Insomnia, delivered by the same clinician from your first session to your last, online across the UK or in person in Horsham. The aim is better quality sleep and a different relationship with the nights that go badly. No GP referral is needed, and you can begin with a complimentary 15-minute chat, with no obligation, to talk through what is going on and whether it is right for you.
Eunoia is not a crisis service. If things feel much worse than a poor night, or you are having thoughts of ending your life, please do not wait: call 999, NHS 111, or Samaritans on 116 123, any time, day or night.
Sources: NHS Every Mind Matters, Sleep problems (nhs.uk, accessed 28 October 2026). NHS, Stress (nhs.uk, accessed 28 October 2026).
